The Beauty Series: Low Self-Esteem PT 1

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For many years I struggled to like myself, constantly being reminded of how imperfect I was and how I wished I could be someone else. It’s hard to imagine a 9 year old on having these thoughts but imagine it stretching over a period of 8 or more years. Too embarrassed to wear a bathing suit in public because you are too ashamed of having stretch marks. Or looking to video girls with awe in hopes to one day have your beauty worshipped by the likes of those who could care less about how you look. Forget having low self-esteem I had NO self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is a disease that is crippling our communities today and especially the youth. Living in a society that portrays beauty from a one dimensional aspect bears its toll on this current generation’s self-esteem and it makes me wonder, what do people think real beauty looks like? As my 23 year old self, looking back at my 9 year old self, I wish I could go back tell myself how beautiful I am and that no magazine, model or superficial standard can define how beautiful I am.

It wasn’t until 11^th grade until I actually thought I was “pretty.” I remember one instance where a great friend of mine would tell me every day I was pretty and I mean every day! One day we were in the bathroom and she said to me “Brittany you are so beautiful,” and I looked at her perplexed and replied “why do you keep saying that.” She looked at me, smiled and said “because you are!”  It was at that very moment that I realized, hey maybe I am beautiful and that there was truth to what my friend was saying. And from that day forward I decided to not live in the shadow of low self-esteem, but rather in the light of beauty. That was back in 2006, fast forward to 2014 I am free from the bondage of no/ low self-esteem and I love every inch, every curve, every stretch mark, every pimple, every piece of me. I wouldn’t change who I am for the world. It hasn’t been easy over the years but I just had to come to the realization that God loves me, he made me perfect and how dare I look at myself with disgust, this piece of art, which he took the time to stitch together piece by piece, limb by limb with love. It’s crazy I know. With all that being said I know there are so many 9 year old ME’s out there and if you’re reading this post I want you to know God loves you, I love you and you ARE BEAUTIFUL.

As I was planning out posts for my blog, I came across an idea to do a blog series. Not just any blog series but a blog series about beauty, what defines it, what people think of it and how to live in it? So this is day one, how to overcome low self-esteem. You can be free and you can fall in love with yourself, it is possible and I want to share some of the things that helped me overcome this burden of low self-esteem.

1.Know for a fact that God loves you

I know low self-esteem is a personal issue and people typically wouldn’t think the love of God had anything to do with it, but it does. Genesis 1:27 reminds us that God created man in his own image. Gods own image is perfect, so that means if you were made in the image of God, then you were made perfect. Just think about it, when God created anything is made sure it was good, so if he took the time to make the birds and flowers perfect, why wouldn’t he take the time to make you perfect. God loves you so much and once you realize that then your healing can begin.

2.   Realize you are not the only one with flaws

For some reason I was convinced that I was the only one in the world with stretch marks and acne and that everyone else in the world had perfect skin. This is the absolute furthest thing from the truth. Everyone has scars, everyone had flaws, and you are not the only one. And if someone can go out in their bathing suit with cellulite and stretchmark’s and not have a care in the world, then so can you. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK (which leads me to my next point)

 3.  STOP caring about what people think or say

I know that as a woman and young girl, you want to be liked by boys and to be accepted by everyone, but if they don’t like you for who you are then FORGET them, they suck anyway, because you’re awesome. You have to learn to guard your mind because that is where we win or lose the battle. What usually happens is, when someone says something negative about you, you hear those words, they’ll infiltrate your thoughts, and you’ll either get really mad or really sad about it. If you marinate of those thoughts long enough sometimes you’ll hear yourself start to say them and then you’ll eventually believe them. This is how the cycle starts but you have to tear down those negative thoughts and replace them with positive words. Tell yourself you are beautiful everyday out loud; use your words to create the outcomes you desire. And eventually your feelings with catch up with your words.

4. Don’t go seeking validation

A lot of the times when girls don’t feel beautiful, they’ll go out and look for validation in all the wrong places. Indulging in promiscuous behavior with the hopes of finding that true self love that they’re desperately seeking. You have to come to the realization that you are enough and you don’t need 200 likes on instagram and 30 comments from guys saying how “BAD” you are. Because even if I only get 2 likes I still know that I am the bomb!

5.  Love your skin, literally!

Your skin is the most visible part of you and I know how much woman try so hard to make sure they have the perfect skin but even if you don’t its OK. If you have a face full of freckles, wear them proudly, show them off, they are beautiful! Do you have skin discoloration, trust me you’re not the only one, 75% of my back is lighter than the rest of my body, who cares! Do you have acne scars, so do you and the other 100 million teenagers in the world, its’ life. All I’m saying is yes there are healthy things you can do to improve your skin, we should all be taking care of our skin. But if there’s nothing than can be done about it, like those pesky stretch marks, well then Beyoncé said it best “IF YOU GOT IT FLAUNT IT!”

6. Stop comparing yourself to other people

You are never going to be able to be someone else. It’s the truth and the only person you can ever be is you. You are stuck with yourself forever, so you might as well start enjoying yourself. If you see another girl with a beautiful feature, compliment her and keep it moving. But also know you have just as many beautiful features as she does, so stop comparing and start embracing!